Looking for Something

From my Book of Mormon class:

*(Sorry. Much of this is the basics this week. I'll probably step into deeper things later, but this made an impact on me. So I'm going to write about it.)

What is your distraction? Why is it distracting you? ...If it's on your mind... why on earth aren't you looking for an answer for it? Why is it your distraction instead of your purpose?

This, (though maybe it shouldn't be this way) was quite the revelation for me. Whenever I read scriptures, I'm always thinking to put away things of the world and my own selfish thoughts and concerns and think of the eternal and everything gospel. I want to just focus on studying. You know what? It's hard to do that when scripture study is one of the few times you get to slow down and think. Telling myself not to think about my concerns at that very moment while studying my scriptures is like asking me to think... but telling me don't you dare think young lady. At the same time. ... Does that make sense?

Look for what you are thinking about... this brings "liken the scriptures to yourself" to a whole different (not new) level. It's funny--I feel like I have been told this concept before. I always thought that it meant to "modernize" the scriptures in a way where you can gain strength from them in your life. Like if you are faced with temptation. "Get thee hence Satan!" Such as when you are filled with despair because you feel like you are failing (2 Nephi 4 is my all time favorite chapter at the moment). Why not look on the page of scripture that you are reading right then. I ask questions and seek for answers, but I always formalize it. ... Must it be formalized? Why must I have a mystery that I've been trying to solve for a long while? Why must I separate my friend trouble from what I am reading? Why must I separate my feelings from my questions? Why must I separate how guilty and pathetic I feel? Why must I separate what I think are stupid questions and feelings from my scriptures? Why have I been doing that my whole life? 

It makes me feel quite behind many of my peers... but... that helps me. NOW. HERE.

Also the phrase "It came to pass." Coming from a Book of Mormon culture, I feel like I used this as one phrase that meant only one thing. But, in class, it was pointed out to me. IT came to pass. It CAME to pass. It came TO pass. It came to PASS. Everything that we experience came to pass. Not that it just happened, we experienced it and then it passed. We experienced it so it would pass. All the struggles we face? It came TO pass. And it does PASS.

And-- ...I can't wait until we get to meet Nephi. Let's be honest. :)