How to get Headaches!

For a while (okay, my whole life) headaches have almost been a daily thing. I remember living in 115 degree Fahrenheit weather in Arizona, (still love it there) and walking home from school. My brother would call me tomato because my face was so red. I actually really liked walking home and tasting the honeysuckle on the way home, but I used to think that was why I got headaches every day.  Then I moved here.

"Wha? It's like 2 degrees and I'm still getting headaches?" To be honest, they were less frequent. But they were still annoyingly frequent.

Another problem! Even when it wasn't some extreme temperature, I still got them.

So... what is my problem? I still almost get them daily.

Seeing as I do not have enough experience to teach people how not get headaches, I'll tell you how to get headaches! 

Totally what everyone wants to know right?



1) DON'T DRINK WATER.
What's the big deal about water? I'm not even sure! Apparently it has to do with keeping you hydrated and keeping things going in your body. 60% of your body is water, and, better yet, 70% of your brain. Apparently one of the biggest reasons people get headaches is because they don't drink enough! Often you can't tell when you are dehydrated. Having always lived in a dry place, I am the best at this. If you need help not drinking water, ask me.

2) DON'T GET SLEEP... Or at least do it randomly
Though I haven't tested this one as thoroughly as water, this is another one of those BIG things that all the health scientist people tell you to do. 'Sleep sleep sleep!' If you must sleep, just randomly start to sleep 3 hours more than you did before. But remember to get even less than you normally do the next night, and then explode in sleep the next night. That's one thing I found out gives you the best/most intense headaches. Your brain tends to like a system or schedule. It's like trying to turn a train a full 180 degrees with one sharp turn... or just going off the tracks all together... Works like a charm!

3) DON'T WEAR SUNGLASSES
Has anyone noticed that you get headaches when it's too bright? Like in class when the sun decided to be in just the wrong spot to blind you throughout class? Good! I'm not the only one! (...Right?) This one I found out during the winter. With the snow reflecting the sun up, you are surrounded on all sides by sun. It isn't the best for your eyes, and it always gives me headaches. If you want a headache, go outside and either stare at the snow or stare at the sun. If you wear contacts- it's an extra plus! It feels like the sun is getting magnified into your eye and trying to fry your brain like an ant!

4) CRY
Every single time I've cried, I get a headache. The longer the cry, the longer the headache. End of story.

5) JUST... BANG YOUR HEAD ON SOMETHING
Stand under a basketball hoop when people are playing. Or or or! Accidentally run into your door as you get ready in to morning because you don't want to turn the light on! That one works really well too.

6) EAT LOTS AND LOTS OF JUNK, AND ABSOLUTELY NOT ANYTHING HEALTHY!
Want your head to hurt? Give it a reason to hurt! Those healthy foods are called healthy for a reason! If you give your body what it needs, it doesn't stress your brain out as much, and doesn't panic at the fact that you have a lot of what you don't need. So fil'er'up with junk and your good! Don't go for the apple, go for the big hunk of whipped topping.

7) DECIDE TO EXERCISE
Ever just sat there and tried to make a plan to exercise? To get a headache, just decide one day to start running as fast as you can for 2 hours. It'll throw your brain into a jiffy- "Wha? What just happened? I feel like I'm trying to escape from an Olympic runner! With a gun! Panic! Anxiety!" If you can't do that one, just don't ever exercise. If you can get away without walking, don't walk.

8) SPEND AS MUCH TIME IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER AS YOU CAN
That screen is made of thousands of little tiny square things. How many pixils is your normal vision of a tree composed of (yes, in real life.)? NONE. The screen is one of the best places to get a headache. To get a headache, just sit down for all the extended versions of Lord of the Rings in a row. Not only is it fun, it ends in a wonderful headache!



Well. I hope some of these were useful. Happy headache making!